I've decided to change a lot of what I originally set out to do. Firstly I've made some changes to my blog. My friends had said they loved that I put "The rest is still unwritten" at the end of my blogs, so I've decided to rename the blog after that. Secondly, I've decided it's best for me to leave YouTube and work on my blog. I thought long and hard about this but after posting my first vlog and having problems with it I was just overall unhappy. I think if I work on my blog and establish it better then I'll think about going back to trying YouTube. On the positive side I know that I can put that time into writing more blogs. I love to write it's so enjoyable for me and I'm so glad that Abz told me to start blogging. I don't mind what people think, at the end of the day it's what I'm happy with!
That leads me on to today's blog. Reflection. When I'm alone or lost in a daydream (it happens I can't help it) I often look back on the choices I made or over-analyse myself harshly. I used to be really tough on myself, especially during Sixth Form. This was most likely because I was angry at myself for not getting the grades I wanted in my head, also because I was overall just unhappy. No amount of pep talks or 'good days' could change the way I felt about Sixth Form. As soon as my exams were done I have never felt so relaxed. I could breathe a sigh of relief that I only had to go back on results day. In all honesty I wasn't nervous for results day, only excited. This was mostly down to my parents. I am lucky enough to have such supportive parents who back me in everything I do. My dad said no matter what happened on results day I would always have somewhere to sleep and even if I didn't get into University we would find someway of getting me to my ultimate goal of being a teacher. Now I may not thank my parents everyday (sorry guys), but I really am grateful for everything they do!
Anyway, over-analysing! It happens to all of us and it happens because of triggers (in my opinion). This can be for a number of reasons; unhappiness, peer pressure, surroundings etc. The list is endless. Peer pressure can be the cause of over-analysing yourself or being critical of yourself. I don't mean peer pressure as in "you should be like this" I am referring to the way people around you are acting. I guess with that explanation it is like how children act in terms of modelling behaviour. We want to be like everyone else.
*Ok I will apologise now for being so 'intense' blogs are meant to be fun and this is heavy stuff. The reason I'm like this is because we've done some bits of psychology in some of the seminars.*
The thing you must remember is that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. You should be happy with yourself. Just because someone appears 'perfect' (whatever perfect is) on the outside doesn't meant that their lives are better than yours. I used to want to be like everyone else thinking that their lives were so much easier than my own. However, I don't know what happened but I gained some confidence from somewhere! It's a good thing though, without that confidence boost I never would have tried to write a blog, I could never have applied for a student ambassador job, I probably would have given up on University when I had lots of obstacles in my way. I wasn't like that whenever an obstacle got in my way (poor exam result) I fought through it and tried until I got it right. I was told I was never going to get a B in History because it was unrealistic with my current E. Nevertheless I retook exams and studied so hard and in January retook them and got an E and a C. I decided to resit the E and I finally got an A in that exam and in my Year 13 History exam I got a B. I proved that I could get that B overall and I couldn't tell you how happy I was to see that grade. I didn't care about the others! Just that I had proved everyone wrong and given myself a massive boost in confidence.
Well what should you take from this blog? Never give up! To succeed in life you need to be happy with yourself and confident. You don't want to be like the girl/boy next door or like the girl/boy who every guy/girl wants or the girl/boy who knows every answer in class. You are the best person you could be and you wouldn't want to change that! The world is there for the taking so live life to the full and have no regrets.
"The rest is still unwritten."