Saturday, 10 January 2015

When is it time to stop texting a guy?

If you were asking yourself this question, the answer is probably now.

There is such a fine line between a friendship and "more than this." And you may think you're more than just a friend to him... but does he? Whatever you feel for him, sometimes you just need to force yourself to let go.

One of the hardest things can be deciding what you want from a guy, or what he wants from you. He may be flirting with you. But do those extra two kisses he put on the end of the text he sent you last night means he wants to marry you and have four children? We have to be realistic. He probably does that to the 20 other girls he texts.

Sometimes it can be dangerous to have a text relationship (texting him pretty much all the time you don't see him) with a guy you're probably just friends with. Especially if he is a work colleague, a friends brother or a classmate. He may be flirting with you, and he may sweet talk you... but isn't he just doing it over text? And does he say things like this to your face, or when other people are around? Boys fall culprit into playing the lonely game. So when they text you out of the blue, after ignoring those messages of yours and barely showing you a smile when you see him, he is probably lonely, and wants to feel like he has someone he can have as a back up plan.

Let me tell you this now, never be the back up plan.

I don't care if you've not had a boyfriend in months and you're feeling lonely yourself, or just broke up with a guy and want a rebound... never let yourself become disposable material. Because yeah, when he starts talking to you for the first time after a while you probably feel great, don't you? But in the back of your mind you know he will stop replying to your messages soon or change the way he acts with you. 

In answer to the question, the perfect time to stop texting a guy who is a friend is if the convo moves to something thats a little other than just general chit chat, and then the next day he can't even be bothered to open your snapchat. On the rare occasion that your friend who is a guy does start flirting with you over text, take it slow. And the most important thing? Never lose that general chit chat. Don't let your conversations start with "morning beautiful" if they're just going to die flat within a few minutes of him telling you how good you look in your new selfie. This is all well and good, but if he isn't asking you how your day is (and you aren't asking him) then this probably will not work out.

The moral of the story is, don't be the text version of a booty call. You are a strong independent person and you don't need to lower yourself to feeling sad if some guy doesn't text you tonight. Feeling lonely yourself? Text an old friend, a new friend, a best friend, a sibling or family member. Talk about memories, find out what they're doing in their life now, have a laugh about that time you both did something really stupid, and more importantly, tell them you love them.

Until next time, 
Raven. XO 

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