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Monday, 2 May 2016

Moody Monday's Volume 23: My 21st Birthday

Hello Lovely Readers

My 21st birthday was on the 21st of April and I can honestly say it was the best day ever! I woke up at 6am as I had an early start at Uni. My boyfriend had sent me to bed early so that I couldn't see what was downstairs, so when I woke up I was so excited to go and see what he'd done. Scott had blown up loads of balloons and put up lots of banners and wrapped all my presents ready for me to open. I begged Scott to come downstairs so that I could start opening them. Suddenly I was wide awake for once at 6am!

After making a cup of tea it was time to start unwrapping presents. I got some lovely PJ's from Scott's parents. I love my PJs so I was definitely pleased to get a fancy new pair. I also had a huge 21st badge from Scott, as well as cards from him and his family. I was so excited to open up the other presents, especially the huge box, but I restrained myself and left it till last. I opened up the smallest of the presents from Scott first. It was a beautiful charm from Pandora that he'd picked out himself. I really loved the charm because it had specks of my favourite colours (turquoise and green). It's colourful but understated, which I definitely like!

Ocean Mosaic Pavé Ball Charm from Scott.

Now it was time to rip open the wrapping paper on the big box. I had no idea what it was. As I started ripping off the wrapping paper I saw the name on the side of the box. 'Kitchen Aid'. Now for those of you who've noticed I'm a keen baker and I was dying to own a Kitchen Aid mixer ever since I moved into my house and the kitchen was finished. I couldn't believe Scott had bought me a bloody mixer. How many boyfriend points does he get for this?!

Fits into my kitchen perfectly!

I was so excited I never wanted to let it go! Did you know these things are really heavy?!

This mixer is my new baby. I've never been one to get emotional at stuff on my birthday, but I literally couldn't stop crying all day. Everything was perfect. A sign I'm getting older probably...or that Scott has made me all mushy and soft. Couldn't thank Scott enough for knowing me enough and spoiling me on my birthday. He's literally made me feel so special. After munching on some birthday crumpets and watching Good Morning Britain, it was time to head off to Uni. I share the same birthday as the Queen so she was dominating the headlines. Where was my shout out?!

Got birthday badges off Megan and Scott.

I'm not usually one who loves the early morning starts at Uni, however this morning I was particularly chipper. I'd made rainbow cupcakes the night before so strolled into my lecture with 3 tubs in tow. After listening to the speakers telling us about various jobs and future employment opportunities the second set of speakers came in and my friends told them it was my birthday. He made me stand up and face the whole lecture theatre whilst everyone sang 'Happy birthday' to me. I was really embarrassed, but it was really funny at the same time.

Charm from my Mum and Dad.
(Dazzling Daisy Fairy Charm)

After my afternoon lecture got cancelled (birthday luck), I headed home to see my parents. The weather was beautiful and I was in such a good mood. I gave cupcakes to my parents and sat down to have a cup of tea, whilst I opened my presents. They had bought me a beautiful charm I'd pointed out in Pandora. The Dazzling Daisy Fairy Charm. It's really pretty and has small splashes of pale pink spread around the charm itself. There are lots of beautiful intricate details on it, I thought it was a lovely present. Mum and Dad had also got me an oven glove and matching apron for my kitchen. Was definitely needed, as I was currently trying to lift things out using tea towels.

Earrings from my brother Max.
(Poetic Blooms Stud Earrings)

After shopping for my birthday party, which was happening on the Saturday I went to pick up my little brother. We were going out for a meal to Botafogo in Huddersfield, but Max let me open my present first. He had bought me a pair of earrings from Pandora (pictured above). I love flowers so these were a fabulous addition to my jewellery box, as I hadn't got a pair of earrings before.

Botafogo in Huddersfield

In the evening we all went to Botafogo for some much needed food! It's a Brazilian restaurant that operates on an 'all you can eat' basis. You have a card, which is for 'stop' and 'go' of when you want more meat. They come round with big kebab sticks of meat and they carve it for you at the table. It's all cooked on BBQ's and there's a huge range from steak to sausages and chicken. My favourite is the gammon and they have garlic mayo and I have loads of that with it. You get 3 sides; beans, rice and chips. If you finish these you can have them refilled whenever you need. It's a really great value restaurant for the money. If you're ever in Huddersfield it's definitely worth a visit!

Birthday dessert

I had such a fantastic birthday and I was so thankful to my fabulous family and friends and boyfriend for spoiling me. Really enjoyed myself. I will post some more stuff on my Instagram soon, the link is below if you want to see more from me.

Hope you enjoyed my post!

"The rest is still unwritten"

Megan

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Monday, 4 April 2016

Moody Monday's Volume 22: Everything happens for a reason

Hello Everyone

I haven't written since the beginning of 2016 and I can say that so much has happened to me since I last blogged, not all good. I have had this post in draft since the middle of February. As today is April 1st and it's not long till my birthday I decided to stop putting off finishing this post and hurry up and post it! My motto for 2016 has been to believe that everything happens for a reason. It has become a mantra that I am reciting again and again as more and more things don't go as I expected them to.

As many of you know I have been completing my final year teaching placement. I'm not going to lie and tell you that it was the best few months of my life, it was far from it. This final year placement would have been enough to put anyone off teaching forever and if I'm being perfectly candid, it nearly put me off too. However, I'm a tough cookie and with the help, love and support from my family and friends I managed to go in and face each day with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. When training you expect to be supported and given guidance and support from your mentors. It is a tough profession that is currently receiving a lot of bad press. More teachers are leaving every day and I thought this would mean that we would be working together and helping one another. It's disheartening to still see that many teachers and school teams are working against trainees, which is why many choose not to seek employment as a teacher when they graduate. The government is receiving a lot of criticism for the rising levels of teachers leaving the profession, however I don't think they are solely to blame. Too often schools are very hostile towards trainees and we are ending up being trained by teachers who no longer want to teach and if your face doesn't fit in a school they make it very difficult for you to remain in the establishment. I really don't understand why some teachers feel the need to do that. It shouldn't be a competition, we should all be supportive of one another to ensure that we can offer the best experiences to the children in our classes. If we work together we are only going to continue to improve and ensure that we all progress in our training and feel supported by our peers. Which can only be a good thing as we can challenge each other in a positive way, which furthers our training and experience. Teaching allows us to develop and it's not something that you will stop and see you ultimately know everything. It's a profession where you are continually learning and change is happening all the time. In order to tackle the changes made we need to unite and support every single member without judgement. Falling apart and criticising one another will be our downfall.

The reality is that I have failed my final year placement. It has been heartbreaking trying to come to terms with what has happened, because a lot of what went wrong could not have been prevented by myself. I was trying so hard to impress people that ultimately just weren't interested in helping me. I have felt let down in many ways by a number of people who should've been supporting me. The result of me failing my placement has meant that I will no longer graduate in July with my friends. I will instead resit the placement in September with a view to graduate in December. It's a harsh reality that I've had to face and accept and it is hard to accept something you feel is unjust and wrong. Although life can be cruel and there really is nothing you can do about it. After feeling low for a few months I decided to try and put placement behind me and focus on me. I needed to try and become happier as a person and pick myself up after that school had knocked me down. It is important to ensure that you can't let someone change you and defeat you. If they beat you down it's important to stand up and face the fight again and again because you are strong enough. We all are and we shouldn't let them win.

A topic that has been spoken about in the media recently is that of mental health. A link tutor of mine, who was supposed to be providing support made an unprofessional comment about my mental health in front of staff members at the school. People who know me understand that this was completely uncalled for. There is no justification that someone should make a backhand comment in the way that she did. Although I was incredibly hurt and offended by the comment and the unprofessionalism of this person, I did not let that deter me. This 'failure' has motivated me more to prove those people wrong. They had formed an idea in their head about me and they couldn't see the work and effort I was putting in to please them. I want to tell you all that whatever people say to you, no matter how mean or hurtful it is, ignore those comments. Negativity has surrounded me like thick fog recently and I have tried so hard to push that away so that I can refocus on the positives. Remaining positive in these situations was in no way easy. I am lucky to have friends who came to see, support and listen to me as much as they could. I had family there to catch me every time I fell. I am also lucky to have found a boyfriend who could not be more supportive with everything I do. Surround yourself with a network of people who will support you. They will be your allies through the rough times. Without this support network I would not have made it through placement without more scars. I may also have chosen to drop out of uni and forget teaching altogether. This network of loved ones have reminded me of all the things I loved about teaching. Focusing on that passion is what has allowed me to return back to a school to volunteer.

I remember when I was younger I fell off my horse, riding through the park. My mum said that in order to move on I needed to get back on that horse or I would never do it again. This knock back in my teaching career is similar to that moment. In order for me to be able to teach again I needed to get back into a school. I have returned to my second year placement school who were completely supportive and are doing everything they can to build me back up to teach again. This situation has shown me how resilient and strong I am as a person. I can't underestimate that and anyone else who has experienced similar things to myself you can't underestimate yourself. I am incredibly proud of how I have handled everything life has thrown at me recently.

Failing placement is an extremely difficult thing to come to terms with. I have to admit these last few weeks I've cried just from looking at Facebook and seeing friends sharing their placement grades and how they've got jobs. I wish that was me, but it's not something I could control nor is it something I can change now. In some ways I didn't have the relaxed Christmas holidays I wanted. After a messy and terrible break up with my previous boyfriend I had to try and focus everything on this placement. In some ways that might have affected me more than I realised. He moved on so quickly after me and whilst I was angry and hurt at the time, I'm happy that he's found someone that makes him happy. Continuing a relationship that made us both unhappy was not in our best interests. I am only speaking for myself, but being away from that relationship has been good for me. It has taken time sure, like all break ups take time to get over. However, I am done harvesting bad feelings towards people because it makes you a negative person. I want to focus on my future and being happy.

Focusing on my future and being happy has allowed me to find Scott. He has found me at a time in my life when I was particularly low and has stayed with me through all of that. Together we have worked on my house, spent so much time together and talked for hours on end about the things that are bothering me. I'm happy that I can cry in front of him without feeling worried about showing my feelings. Although I am not fully back to the positive person I used to be I am slowly getting there and that is because of the help of Scott, my family and friends. I cannot thank them enough for everything they have done. I am so lucky to have them.

I have finally moved into my house and with the help of Scott we are trying to finish the painting off so that I can have a party there for my birthday. I want to celebrate my 21st with my family, friends and Scott. Just a small get together will make me really happy this year. Now I am focusing on each day and taking it as it comes. I'm focusing on finishing uni with a good degree classification and have a fab Summer so that I am ready to begin my placement in September. I will not be beaten, teaching is for me. You can't let your enemies win, you're better than that. I'm going to finish this post here before I go into full emotional meltdown and this post gets more ranty!

For now I'll enjoy the short outbursts of sun!

Thank you for continuing to read my posts and sticking with me. I really appreciate every view, comment and message from you all. Don't forget to follow me on my links below!

"The rest is still unwritten"

Megan

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Monday, 6 April 2015

Moody Monday's Volume 12: Boys Boys Boys

Hello Bloggers!

I'm going to pre warn you. This post is a rant!

Now I am perfectly happy in my relationship don't get me wrong, however I have noticed how difficult it is for boys to understand women. I mean they are never really able to put themselves in our shoes. My boyfriend and I have our arguments but one that really has got to me lately is the fact that he is set on me being friends with his ex. Now, for men this may seem normal. I mean there's nothing between them anymore, turns out their better friends than lovers, however it does not mean that I need or want to be friends with this girl. She could be a lovely person and I have nothing against her personally, but when she's been with my boyfriend intimately then it makes things really awkward!

Surely it's ok for me to feel this way?! Yes. Yes it is.

You see I did explain this and of course he doesn't understand how I feel. Women love to talk about feelings and quite frankly I'd love for my boyfriend to open up a bit more. No. That's a feminine thing apparently! I feel like sometimes I'm made to feel like my feelings are wrong and I shouldn't feel that way.

More often than not I've been told "oh don't be silly" "oh you're overthinking" "oh you're being paranoid"...no I'm being a women and it's perfectly ok for me to feel the way I do. Men shouldn't be allowed to tell us how to think or feel. I'm entitled to my own opinion as all women are. I hate fighting so it would be nice if my boyfriend and I could just move past this because it really shouldn't be important if I'm friends with her or not. It took me a while to get ok with them hanging out still (as friends) so he shouldn't push me too much. I'm being more than reasonable.

Another tip for men. If your ex is being horrid to your new girlfriend, don't agree with what the ex is saying. Stupidly my boyfriend did this. I cried and it was a literal face palm moment. I mean come on! How naive can men be?

Too often men use the excuse "sorry I wasn't thinking" which is sometimes ok to use. Although, when this phrase is used repeatedly during an argument to avoid too much of the blame and to move on it's certainly NOT ok. If you weren't thinking the first time then you need to stop, think and learn from what had been before so that we don't have to go through the same mundane argument again!

I love my boyfriend to pieces but I'd kill for him to understand me a bit more. Wouldn't hurt them would it girls?

Hope you enjoyed my little rant. I'm not a man hater just needed to get some feelings out there.

"The rest is still unwritten"

Megan

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Monday, 16 February 2015

Moody Mondays Volume 9: Valentine's Weekend

Hello Bloggers!

I hope you've all had a lovely Valentine's Day weekend! Mine was everything I wanted (cute, cute, cute).

I never was one of those girls that needed lots of frills. I was far happier for my boyfriend to take me to the pub and then spend the night cuddling and watching movies. I did get to see Luke struggle to finish the gigantic burger. It took him a whole hour to eat! *giggles*

I hate flowers and presents can often lose their meaning and become more about how much money you spent. Nope, I'm NOT that kind of girl! Luke gets that...THANK GOD! The only present I gave I actually made, brownies! Yes I will be posting the recipe I used and pictures as it was from my cook book from Christmas. Instead of Luke eating them all, his housemates had to have some (good job I took extras over).

So once again Megan has a busy week ahead! I have to pack for Ypres, make sure Luke has a fab birthday and keep the birthday surprise (I'm rubbish at keeping secrets), get up early enough to get to University and go on all the visits we have planned in Ypres.

Yes it is the week I'm due to go to Ypres and I have to be at University on Thursday morning at 5.45am (help) but I am looking forward to it! I'm writing a blog for my University documenting my experiences. Of course you'll all get the same post on here!

So tomorrow I plan to post twice for you! Hope you all have a lovely week.

"The rest is still unwritten"

Megan

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