New Year...a new me as well?

Hello Everyone

I'm sat here nearly at the end of my Christmas holiday and I'm watching Grey's Anatomy. 2015 has been a defining year for me in more ways than one. I fell in love, I had my heart broken, I've cried more times than I can count and I also made huge steps with my University degree, which I think has made me a better teacher. This holiday hasn't been completely relaxing and enjoyable for me, so I think it would be safe to say that I want to end 2015 on a high. I've decided to spend it having a girly night in with my Mum and my Auntie and the pooches, with takeaway and wine! I am looking forward to 2016. I will be once again beginning the year single, which will be nothing new! I mean I've never actually been in a relationship over Christmas and New Year so it won't be that much of a change right? Difficult decisions were made regarding my relationship status and unfortunately there was nothing I could really do to keep that working anymore. I'm not going to lie I'm upset, but I'm also positive that I will find the right person for me eventually and that will be the right thing for me! I have lots to look forward to in 2016 so I don't have time to mope around the house and be upset. Megan needs to focus on applying for jobs, teaching and spending time with friends and family.

A sad note is that I also have yet to move into my house. It's annoying to see it sat there almost ready, however Mum doesn't want me moving in when I haven't got the essentials in there (a working shower). Obviously that is so important when coming home from a stressful day teaching and I want to relax! So I'm going to dedicate weekends and free time to go and finish the house whenever I can fit it in and I'm sure my lovely family will also help out. I am really am so thankful for them and they've made this festive period easier and happier for me. 

New Years Resolutions, I've never been very good at making them, let alone keeping them! However, this year I am ready to make a few and stick to them I'm determined! Now I am single I am ready to focus on me and get fit. I want to lose weight and get the body I know I deserve, which in turn will help me grab the man I deserve. The second resolution is to get a job teaching in a school I am really happy with. The dream is obviously to be an Early Years Teacher, however as long as i'm in a good school that is supportive and values me I'm happy with Years 1 and 2 too. My final resolution is to be happy. I can do this by spending time with family and friends and being happy with myself. 

So I'm sorry for being away for a while, it's bad of me. I didn't want to bore you and I also didn't feel like writing when I was so low. Although, here I am ready to continue on this journey with you. I'm ready to share things with you because this is a place I can just puke my feelings and somehow make them form words. 

Thank you so much for sticking with me, I really appreciate it. 

OOOH! How could I forget?! I also started writing for Spice UK Online this year. I haven't posted so much as I have been busy and priorities have taken over, but I am ready to change that this year and schedule some posts. 

I hope you have all had a good Christmas and are ready to ring in the New Year! Please get in touch on my social media links and drop me a message if you like. 

Let me know what your resolutions are in the comments below! Thank you again!

"The rest is still unwritten"

Megan

Social Media Links

Twitter 

Bloglovin

Pinterest 

Instagram

Spice UK Online
(my profile on the website, which also has all my posts I've written as well. Give me some support it will be appreciated!)

Battlefield Trip to Ypres: Day Three

Hello Bloggers 

It was my final day in Ypres and we had unfortunately slept through our alarms and had to quickly finish packing our bags, get dressed and run down to grab breakfast before we had to check out! PANIC ENSUES!

Ypres: Day Three

Saturday 21st February 2015 

8 am
I'm sat eyeing up my plate of sausages, beans and hash browns with croissants, butter, jam and orange juice on the side. I have to admit I was getting rather fond of starting my mornings like this! Carmen Sharman, Jess, Danny and I had planned to visit the 'In Flanders Field' Museum, grab some chocolate and see the market before we had to get on the coach at 11.45 am. After devouring our food we ran back to the room to have one last check around (to make sure we hadn't forgotten anything- WE DIDN'T YAY) and then take our bags to a room until they were put onto the coach.

9.30 am
We got chance to explore Ypres before the Museum opened at 10.30 am, so we decided to walk through the market. We ended up going into the church where a quartet of men were singing 'Only You' which was really perfect in such a beautiful setting. We went into many of the chocolate shops where I eventually bought several chocolate gifts from 'Leonidas', needless to say Luke was pleased I'd bought him a bar of white chocolate and my dad was pleased with the fudge. I had to treat myself to a selection of my favourite chocolates. After picking out chocolates to fill my small box with (pralines, caramels and cappuccinos), we headed out to the museum.

10.35 am: In Flanders Field Museum

I had been to this Museum before so I thought I wouldn't learn anything new, however it wasn't how I remembered. We got given wristbands where we could sign in with our area and names so we could track our journey around the museum. There were many actors who were playing out stories on the screens. It was quite chilling to see the characters retell the story of what happened on Christmas Eve when the fighting stopped at the Germans and the British met in the middle. Silent Night is still ringing in my ears.

This museum offered so much for every person that walked through their doors, no matter what language you spoke. I loved how interactive some of the stories were and the exhibitions were varied. They had real objects recovered from the battlefields, as well as several models based on the trenches and showed what the battlefields would've looked like during that time. Although this museum was small there was a lot of information and things to look at. For €5 It was definitely worth the money.
Carmen and I went to the gift shop afterwards and I bought a pair of poppy earrings as a reminder of my trip. Really wish I'd bought the studs as well.

If you ever get chance to visit Ypres, this museum is in the square so within walking distance if you stay in the Novotel. It's cheap as well and quite frankly worth the money. You can document your journey and then print, email or connect on your smartphone to get the information when you leave. This enables you to take the learning outside the museum.

11.45 am
After grabbing our bags it was time to get back on the coach for a squished trip back to Leeds. I was not looking forward to the long journey and I was praying my portable charger and laptop held enough charge to re charge my phone if it died.

Before we set off to the ferry we stopped at Bedford House Cemetery to find one of the relatives of the Cumbria students. After walking round for over half an hour it seemed like we wouldn't find the grave, however we did and we were able to have a moments silence, pay our respects and he could take pictures of the grave. It was really nice to have a personal story linked to our journey. This would definitely be something I would take into the classroom as children can connect to the person and the story becomes real and relevant to them.

10.45 pm
Yes...we got back to Leeds Trinity at this time after our ferry was delayed and the drive took longer than expected. I had a great time though. After packing up my little Micra Derek I got back on the road dropping off Carmen, Alice and Kate off at home.

11.00 pm
I finally arrived at Luke's house and it is fair to say I was TIRED. I loved the trip and I definitely would go again. I'd made some new friends and become closer to people who were on my course. I managed to learn new things and see how I could use sites that we could visit with children. Even if I couldn't take them to that particular site taking my own experiences into the classroom and sharing them with the class allows them to be enthusiastic about what you're enthusiastic about. Even if you can't go with a school or your University organise a trip yourselves maybe with friends or family. It is definitely a wonderful experience and I have gained so much from it!

Hope you enjoyed reading about my experiences in Ypres. I thoroughly enjoyed visiting lots of different sites and seeing memorials that maybe I wouldn't have thought of visiting myself. It was really great to have such an enthusiastic tour guide who had so much passion for what he did. There was no question he didn't want to answer (even if he didn't know the answer) he allowed us as teachers to come up with our own ideas. Even if you don't know something you can always ask the children for their ideas and theories. You may find that their responses are more creative than the actual answer!

Next week it's back to my normal blogging schedule.

"The rest is still unwritten"

Megan

Social Media Links

Twitter 

Bloglovin

Pinterest 

Instagram

Fears

After today hasn't gone to plan with the flat I thought I write a blog on a subject I was planning to do next week, however I'll write this now! 

I'm 18 and it's safe to say I still act like a 5 year old! This goes for fears as well. I'm still scared of spiders. However, since I'll be living on my own I have started to make myself kill the spiders instead of catching them and then panicking about what to do. In the end I usually end up calling my mum to come and kill it! I used to be scared of the dark and in a way I have conquered this fear. To not be scared I have to be sandwiched in between teddies and pillows. My brain thinks that I'll be safe should anything happen! 

One thing I also used to have severe problems with we're nightmares. I haven't fully gotten rid of these, but they have become bearable. When I was younger I was involved in a car crash with my mum. We were fine it was nothing major, however I thought my mum had died. Every night after I wouldn't sleep and I would run screaming into my parents room thinking my mum was dead. I began falling asleep at school and in the end I was sent for a counselling session. I don't really remember the crash or the counselling so I guess you could say it was a success. Through the courts I did get some compensation which I then got on my 18th birthday. This is helping me for University. I guess you could say that something that was bad turned out to be good in the end. 

Now I have my own flat I am a little nervous and scared about sleeping on my own. I don't like being in a house on my own so that will take some getting used to! 

I was texting a friend last night and we briefly mentioned fears. Do any of you still have fears? If you want to comment your fears below feel free and I'll read and comment. We shouldn't let our fears rule us! We can be strong even with our fears! 

"The rest is still unwritten"

Megan

Let the feels out

*Brace yourselves this is a long one!*

Now everyone always talks about relationships, including friendships, but over the past two years I think I’ve had pretty rubbish times involving friends and guys. Now because I’m so nice they will all remain nameless but I guess if they read this they’ll know who they are.

If my friends read this they may think me stupid for writing something about love and relationships because they have only seen me with one guy. There are many things I choose not to tell my friends. This is because of a number of reasons. Mainly I’m ashamed of the choices I made in the past. However, I believe that they have made me the person I am today. I’m stronger for the pain and emotional torment they put me through. I’m also a better judge of character. I’ve learnt to keep a few friends close and more importantly I’ve learnt to forgive those who deserve a second, third or even tenth chance! I’m known as a soft person who fails dismally to stick up for herself but I feel this is because i have a pretty poor view of myself.

*Taylor Swift- Forever and Always just happens to play on my iPod...thanks shuffle how did you know?!*

My final year of high school was probably my toughest in terms of emotions. I fell out with a lot of my friends and consequently I was pushed to look elsewhere for new friends. After my brother and I grew closer together I made his games console my new favourite thing. I would play black ops everyday and it became an addiction. Soon I was playing alone and met a lot of people online some I am still really close to even to this day. I have to say at a low point in my life I was able to talk to those people who were interested in me and didn’t judge me on looks. Now you’re all probably thinking that I was desperate, yes there were some creeps on there but in all honestly it’s easy to find people who are actually really cool and down to earth on there. My friend Chloe is probably one of my best friends I made on there. I could literally trust her with all my problems! I have to thank her for sticking around in that lobby the first day we met. Guys were following me around the map and getting me killed and doing inappropriate stuff to my online character so I told them to go and follow the other girl in the lobby instead. Next thing I hear “oh yeah thanks meg for that”. We stayed together the rest of the night and two years on we’re still just as close and i can honestly say there has never been one conversation where she hasn’t made me laugh till I’m in tears.

I have to admit I became attached to a lot of my guy friends on there and in some cases wished we could’ve been more than friends because they were so lovely when I had known them for two years. I mean it doesn’t seem like a long time but in emotional teen years it feels like I’ve known them all my life. I trusted Chloe with everything. She was there to cheer me up when things at school and then sixth form weren’t going to plan and I think I can safely say that she helped me a lot in terms of self confidence and viewing each day with a positive attitude. She is someone who has inspired me because in all honesty I admire her for everything she has done so far in her life! Although I don’t play Xbox anymore the few and close relationships I made with friends online I transferred to twitter etc and the ones who made the effort stuck around in my life.

My recent relationship held a lot of memories I wish I could relive. I think it’s the thing that made me realise that I hate being on my own. However, it took my friends to intervene and tell me that I deserved better! Although, I miss the thought that I had someone in my life that cared and loved me like he did (or used to) I know that I was deliberately avoiding breaking up with him through fear of being alone and never finding anyone again. To this day I cry myself to sleep most nights because I’m still confused as to how it ended and why I let myself be dumped by him twice. Going out in town was something I used to enjoy and now every time I’ve gone out I’ve cried! I mean I have been so emotional! It’s not just because of the guy, it’s everything just building up and the realisation that soon my life will be so different. I’m excited to start a fresh and I think there’s a part of me somewhere that views blogging as something to take my mind off the hurt I still feel from my previous relationship. I’m lucky enough to have amazing friends in my life that are there to support me and give me the best pep talks I could ask for.

Friends, I’ve had pretty tough times with them as well. However, I am lucky to have formed close bonds with a few who I feel are worth my time and energy! They care about me and they know me so well. To name a few; Rais, he is probably the best guy friend I could ever ask for. He always supports me and looks out for me; also he has recently become my new gig buddy introducing me to some amazing bands. Abz, my twin who understands my obsessions for Disney and YouTube! I literally couldn’t imagine my life without ‘Abzigail’ because she will always stick up for me, support me and give me the much needed pep talks on a daily basis! Hannah, who was my childhood best friend, has also still been a really good friend to me even though she lives in Essex! I can’t thank her enough for listening to my rants on the phone and consoling me when I regularly got upset. I am so thankful that she is moving up north so I can finally see her more often!

This blog goes out to you guys, my family, friends and all of you reading this. Thanks for being a part of some of my 18 years on this earth and to my close friends and family thank you for carrying me through these tough 3 years. I couldn’t have done it without your support. It really means so much to know that you’re all there for me.

And to all the guys that have broken my heart, hurt me or even just didn’t give me a chance. I know I’m worth ten times more than the rubbish you put me through. One day I’ll find the right guy who accepts me flaws and all!

So that’s the end of this blog. Thanks for reading.

“The rest is still unwritten”

Megan

The Start Of Something New

Firstly, no High School Musical reference in the title was intended it just kind of...happened.

Well first thing's first HELLO! I'm Megan and blogging is something I have wanted to do for a long time. I guess today (Monday 26th August 2013) was finally the day I decided to make it happen. Now I've been obsessed with YouTube recently and I have seen how most of them started out blogging so I thought why not give it a try? So here go's...MY FIRST BLOG.

Monday.

Unlike most people I love Monday's. Whatever bad things happened the previous week I tend to forget about and start again. Monday signals a fresh start. In this first blog I thought I'd give a brief explanation to how I got here and why I want to do this. It'll give you guys out there (whoever you are) a better understanding of the weird and wonderful mess that makes me!
 
 Now my best friend Abz can be blamed for my unhealthy obsession to YouTube. She is my twin and probably one of the few people that understands me and accepts me for who I am. Now when she told me about YouTube I didn't really get into it until I first started watching Tyler Oakley. Now as soon as I started watching Tyler's videos I became instantly hooked. His videos made me laugh till I cried and in some ways that's how I wanted to be viewed. I wanted to be known for making people happy something which at the minute I feel I am struggling with. We'll leave all the 'emosh' stuff for the next blog!

As well as blogging YouTube would also be something I would love to be able to be involved in. I guess I see myself as someone who enjoys talking to people through the internet! Now my 'channel' won't really see any action (best phrase I could think of) till I move to my new flat (sometime in September) ready for me to begin Uni. At the minute I can't really say how regular these videos will be because these videos would be fitted around Uni and work! I have to be honest and say I have ideas already of what I want to develop my channel as! Vlogging, challenges and maybe advice? University is something we're all most likely to experience and I feel like I could connect with some of you who may be worried about Uni, wanting to know what Uni life is like, or maybe you just want an idiot to laugh at on YouTube! Regardless, feel free to view my videos and tell me what you think.

Now I don't want this blog to be so big but I am so excited for the future. I have so many things to share with you on this blog and I just hope that some of you find it interesting! I will try and blog everyday if I get chance! I can't really say what genre this blog would be in! It's just a general blog. If you want to read reviews of the gigs I've attended, read about the events of my life or just read about what University is like then I guess my blog might interest you!

Thank You for taking the time to read this and I hope you'll stick around to stay on this journey with me! As Natasha Bedingfield would sing:

"The rest is still unwritten"

Megan.

P.S. Let's be cute and dedicate my blog to Abz. You inspired me to do this and gave me the confidence to pursue this. Thank you.